Are you married to an unbeliever and you desire to see positive changes in their lives? 

PRAYERS

If your answer to the above is yes, then this write up is for you. I will be listing out some simple but profound prayers for you to pray for your spouse daily, in order to see remarkable and positive changes in their lives. 

Please note, we can not determine when and how an unbeliever will get saved, that is the work of the Holy Spirit. I am only here to help you live in peace and harmony with your spouse, pending when he or she gets saved.

PRAYER  POINTS 

  1. FIRE OF GOD POSSES MY SPOUSE. (Please pray for 15 minutes).

The Bible says our God is a consuming fire, so when the fire of God comes into your spouse’s life, everything that is not of God is destroyed. 

  1. HOLY SPIRIT DIVINE, FILL MY SPOUSE.  (Please pray for 15 minutes).

Nobody knows the heart of a man expect the Spirit of God. When you ask the Holy Spirit to fill your spouse, you are asking God to take charge of his or her soul. When this happens, evil characters gradually fade away. 

  1. I PLUG MY HUSBAND’S OR WIFE’S DESTINY INTO THE SOCKET OF THE HOLY GHOST.  (Please pray for 15 minutes).

When your spouse is connected to the Holy Ghost, automatically he or she begins to receive divine revelations or directives from the Throne room of God.

Finally, shower them with love and affection. Ask God for grace to live happily with your spouse no matter their religious stands. 

How to overcome difficult situations.

We are faced with problems on a daily basis, it’s part of life. As long as you are alive, there will always be one issue or the other to sort out. We encounter challenges as we progress in life, they are not meant to stagnate us but to sharpen us and mould us into who Christ wants us to be. 

If I had my way, I’d love to live a life devoid of troubles, but without these problems which the Lord helps me to surmount, I won’t be who I am today. They may seem unpleasant, but I know one thing, they will never leave you the same. There is always a lesson or two to learn. 

The essence of writing this is not to encourage us to accept whatever comes our way, rather it’s to make us understand that these problems aren’t meant to accompany us throughout our journey here on earth. They are meant to work out something good in our lives before they exit, like perseverance, faith, trust and hope in God.

Problems that linger too long in a man’s life need a more defined approach on how to tackle it, hence the need to write this piece. Some people have lived in abject poverty from childhood to adulthood, I don’t think this is how God wants it. We are only meant to experience a season of financial hardship, sometimes to teach us how to be financially prudent or how to endure in times of lack. 

Some have been bedridden for years, some lack joy in their lives, nothing good stays with them for long, some have remained in a particular level in life without any progress, their lives have been stagnated by satanic powers and many more unpleasant situations which I can’t list them all here. 

When you find yourself in a situation like this, what do you do? What measures do you take to solve these difficult problems in your life? Or have you accepted it as God’s plan for your life? Please don’t. Enquire from the Lord first before you settle down with such notion. Even Job in the bible didn’t have to live his entire life in that unpleasant situation, it was just a trial of faith which lasted for a period of time and after that, he was back to his feet. When will you be back on your feet? Are you ready to start the process of recovering all that the devil has stolen from your life? Then buckle up and apply the below steps. 

  1. GIVE YOUR LIFE TO JESUS

This is the first and most important step to solving difficult situations in your life. Why? He is the Custodian of the whole world and all power belongs to Him. Nothing happens without His knowledge. He knows the very problem that has been lingering in your life and the solution lies in His hands. Therefore, the sure way to victory over difficult situations, is to start with Jesus. If you desire to surrender your life to Jesus, please say this prayer: 

LORD JESUS I ACCEPT YOU AS MY PERSONAL LORD AND SAVIOUR AND I NOW INVITE YOU INTO MY LIFE TO RULE AND DIRECT. PLEASE COME AND TAKE CHARGE OF MY LIFE IN JESUS NAME, AMEN. 

After saying this prayer, you are now officially a Child of God and can approach the Throne room of God for divine intervention over your matter. 

  1. AVOID SIN

Sin is the only thing that separates us from God and I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t want to be disconnected from your source of power. Stay away from sin as much as you can, though occasionally you may falter, but don’t make a habit of it. Once you sin, ask God for forgiveness and maintain a clean slate, so Satan the accuser will have nothing against you. Moreover, your righteousness is of God, so He will give you the grace to live a holy and righteous life. 

  1. ENQUIRE FROM THE LORD.

Now that you have access to God, through His Son Jesus Christ, I encourage you to engage Him in conversations (through prayers) to know why you are passing through this situation in your life. It is necessary to do this to ascertain if the Lord has permitted this difficult situation in your life  to bring forth a greater you. Every difficult situation the Lord permits, is to achieve a purpose in your life. God does not hate you, neither does He harbour any evil plans for your life. Trust Him and hang in there. Pray for grace to wait patiently for His appointed time. If you don’t know how to enquire from the Lord, please read this book, I believe it will aid you. https://godlyseeds.com/2022/02/06/how-to-hear-god-for-yourself/

  1. TIME FOR BATTLE

Having enquired from the Lord and He gives you the understanding that this has nothing to do with God but it’s a demonic attack, then time to rise and fight has arrived. Understand that God is going to fight for you, but have the mindset of enough is enough. Determine to see the end of that problem and set your mind on victory, because Jesus is involved. Matthew 28:18 says: 

“And Jesus came and spoke unto them, saying, All power is given unto me in heaven and on earth”.

Since this is warfare time, please engage in the following while you wait for the salvation of our God. 

  1. Dedicate at least an hour to stay in God’s presence daily. The more you spend time with God, the more power He infuses into your life. A time will come when you will become a terror to the kingdom of darkness. Your name will now be synonymous with trouble to your oppressors. 
  1. Use your time wisely. Every idle time should be mopped up for God. You now belong to God, your priority should be how to live a life that  pleases God. The book of Proverbs says “When a man’s ways please the LORD, he makes even his enemies to be at peace with him”. Invest your time in the things of God and stay away from ungodly activities. They will only delay your freedom and victory. Don’t give the enemy  loopholes to hurl more attacks at you.
  1. Engage in warfare prayers, preferably at midnight. Most satanic attacks take place while we sleep. So learn to stay awake at midnight and pray, at least for 30 minutes. If you need warfare prayers, please let me know.
  1. Make Psalms 35, 27 and 18 your friends. Soak yourself in these Psalms daily and believe God will deliver you from that difficult situation. 
  1. Put away the gloomy garment and grab your garment of praise. A sad and sorrowful soul is a fertile ground for more attacks but a joyous soul receives more from the Lord. 
  1. Ask the Lord for dreams and divine revelations. This will help you understand what is really going on in your life and what God is doing to set you free. 
  1. Engage in evangelism. Social media has made it easier now for us to spread the good news, don’t shy away.
  1. Remember to give God thanks when you overcome that difficult situation and also share your testimonies to encourage others. 

     5.  DISCOVER WHO YOU ARE.

Some people are facing difficult situations simply because they are playing out another’s script. You are acting a role God never assigned to you. Some problems disappear as soon as you switch roles and  begin pursuing God’s purpose for your life. Therefore it’s essential we know who we are and why God created us. What’s your assignment here on earth? Have you started acting your God given role? If you are yet to discover who you are and your mission here on earth, then this is the right time to seek God’s face concerning this aspect of your life. 

In conclusion, I encourage Christians to learn how to hear from God, since this is the key to solving many life’s problems. When God speaks to you, it becomes easier to overcome difficult situations because He will guide and direct you on how best to handle those problems. 

Please make up your mind today to be serious in your relationship with God and apply the necessary steps to get closer to Him. You may wish to read more on this, so here is a link to help improve your Christian walk with God. https://godlyseeds.com/2022/02/06/how-to-hear-god-for-yourself/

Domestic violence in marriage; what to do.

It’s sad and unfortunate that some have ended up in marriages where they are abused and maltreated by their spouses. In most cases women are the victims and some have even lost their lives. 

In this chapter, I am going to write from the perspective of a woman because women are most vulnerable in this issue.

It is true that God hates divorce but neither is He in support of abusive marriage. I believe here is when separation is allowed for safety sake. Separation is not divorce, neither is it a time of freedom to practice immorality. It is a time for sober reflection and prayer for divine intervention in your marriage. It is also a time to work on yourself in order to be a better version of you, because we all are a work in progress, we have not yet attained that height of perfection in Christ. The tendency to fall into sin is in us, therefore pray intensely for both you and your spouse, that this time of separation will not be used by the devil to wreck more havoc in your home. 

Spend quality time daily in God’s presence, allow Him purge you, cleanse you and restore you. The pains, tears and emotional trauma can all be healed at the feet of our Lord Jesus Christ. You are not alone in this, He is with you all the way. Certain questions may come to your mind now, like why did God allow all these in the first place? Is He not the Almighty? Why couldn’t He stop it before it got this bad. These are all valid questions which I will use the parable of the wheat and tares to answer. I am not in the position to give you a perfect answer, for that is the work of the Holy Spirit. He teaches us all truth. I will only try to shade some light on why these unpleasant things happen.

The parable of the wheat and tares  found in  Matthew 13:24-30, makes us understand that while men slept the enemy sowed tares in their lifes, in this case I may say marriage. The problem in your marriage isn’t caused by God. The devil is responsible. He sowed tares in your marriage for that is his job;  to steal, kill and destroy and for this reason the bible asks us to watch and pray. Most people don’t pray for their spouses until things go wrong. We are expected to pray without ceasing. Create out time for prayer and be intentional about it. Devote adequate time to prayer as you do with other activities. It should rank as one of your most important jobs on your daily task list. 

In the parable, we notice that the tares were allowed to grow alongside with the wheat until harvest time when they shall be separated. The tares in our lives aren’t meant to destroy us but to work out perfection in us. Some challenges we encounter in marriages are permitted by God in order that we might bear the fruits of the spirit, which are:, love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control –Galatians 5:22-23. So what has bearing the fruits of the spirit got to do with being separated from your spouse? We shall be taking a  look at each of these fruits to see what they signify in the life of a Christian. 

  1. Love: John 15:9-11 (NIV) says “As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.”  This bible verse admonishes us to remain in God’s love, and if you do, then your joy will be complete. No matter what your spouse has done to you, forgive and let go, only then will you be truly happy. You cannot bear a grudge against someone and be truly happy. The thought of that person constantly brings pain to your heart and this will definitely delay your healing and restoration. This is why God’s love must always abound in our hearts, to keep it pure and free from hatred and bitterness. Jesus kept His father’s command and remained in His love, will you also keep the Father’s command? 
  1.  Joy:  James 1:2-3 (NIV)

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance”. We are made to understand in this bible portion that a believer’s life is not void of trials, infact, it even says “trials of many kinds”. God permits trials in our lives to work out perseverance. The life of a Christian is not a jolly ride, there are bumps and hudles here and there which we need to be prepared for. The perseverance God is working out in our lives is to ensure that we are prepared for what lies ahead of us as we journey through life on earth. We need to be equipped with the right attributes lest we fall by the wayside. Being separated from your spouse shouldn’t sadden you but rather see it as a thing of joy, because in the midst of this mess, something new and glorious will be birthed. 

  1. Peace:  John 16:33 (NIV)

 “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” A time of separation is not the time to lose your cool and become desperate. Jesus Christ has already overcome the world and every problem that lies therein. The problem in your marriage didn’t come as a surprise to God, He is all knowing.  God will save your marriage, keep still and don’t fret. While you wait on God to resolve any issues between you and your spouse, stay in the place of prayer and let the peace that surpasses human understanding guard your heart and mind. 

  1. Patience: Ephesians 4:2 (NIV)

“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love”. We are called to be patient and bear with one another. Some spouses cannot tolerate the shortcomings of their partner, they nag and nag and make home a miserable place for themselves. We should learn to overlook certain things in our marriages as long as they are not life threatening. When you find a fault in your spouse, your job is to pray for God to give them a new heart and take away those vices in them. No amount of nagging can change anyone, only God can. Be patient with one another and take everything to God in prayer. 

  1. Kindness: Romans 4:2 (NIV)

“Don’t you see how wonderfully kind, tolerant, and patient God is with you? Does this mean nothing to you? Can’t you see that his kindness is intended to turn you from your sin? ” There is no perfect human being on earth, all have sinned and come short of the glory of God. Despite our sins, God has not abandoned us neither has He given up on us. With God, there is always room for repentance and reconciliation. Ask yourself, have you created room in your heart for repentance and reconciliation with your spouse? Some women see separation from their spouse as a time to get even with their erring husbands, while some have vowed never to let their spouses back into their lives. From the standpoint of the Bible, these are all wrong mindsets orchestrated by the flesh and not the Holy Spirit. Having these mindsets will not allow the purpose of God to be fulfilled in your marriage or life. 

God has been kind to you by continually forgiving your sins, why can’t you do same for your spouse? Forgiving your spouse may seem such an impossible task, yes I totally agree but that’s why we have the Holy Spirit, our Helper. Ask Him to fill you with the fruits of the spirit and to enable you show kindness towards your spouse. 

  1. Goodness: 2 Thessalonians 1:11 (NIV)

“With this in mind, we constantly pray for you, that our God may make you worthy of his calling, and that by his power he may bring to fruition your every desire for goodness and your every deed prompted by faith”.

Being good and desiring what is good is one of the fruits of the spirit. As the name implies, it simply means to be good. We know the qualities of a good person, we don’t need to list them out here. Naturally, a good person is a nice kind hearted fellow, always thinking good of others and does not desire evil to befall others. As a Christian who has been separated from your spouse, God expects you to keep being your good self. Don’t stop doing the good you’ve been known to be doing. Allow the Holy Spirit to flood your heart with beautiful ways of living a good and impactful life. 

  1. Faithfulness: 1 Corinthians 10:13 (NIV)

“God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted above what you are able, but will with the temptation also make the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it”. 

Some may wonder, what if I stay separated from my spouse for years, how possible is it for me to stay faithful to him? Well, it’s not an easy place for anyone to find herself and it’s definitely a trying time. 

There are certain things that are humanly impossible for us to accomplish without the help of the Holy Spirit. He is the force that powers us to achieve the impossible. Staying faithful to your spouse no matter the duration of separation is tenable, but you must rely on the Holy Spirit to help you overcome the temptations that may arise. 

Another question that may come up at a time like this is, why should I stay faithful while my husband cheats on me? First and foremost, your body is not yours. It belongs to God. You are to please God with it and not man. Your primary role here on earth is to obey God and do His will and the bible has made us to understand that having intimate relationship with anyone other than your spouse is a sin. My question to you is this, will you obey God and keep yourself pure or will you emulate your spouse and sin against God? 

  1. Gentleness: Matthew 11:29 (NIV)

“Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls”. Jesus Christ encourages us to be like Him, to live the kind of life He lived here on earth. He was gentle, kind and compassionate. These attributes should be found in us Christians too. We cannot say we are followers of Jesus, yet we live a lifestyle that chases people away from Christ. This bible verse tells us that when you are humble in heart, you will find rest for your soul. Being gentle doesn’t mean you are timid, it simply means that despite your strength and will power, you decide to stay humble/gentle so that the name of Jesus might be glorified. Perhaps, you have the power to pay back your spouse in his own coin but you choose not to, in order that Jesus be  glorified. 

A gentle person is often more organised and coordinated; every Christian wife should ask the Holy Spirit for this fruit of the spirit as it will help you run your home more smoothly. 

Being separated from your spouse doesn’t mean your home will not be restored. God is in the process of doing that and one of the things that will facilitate the speedy reconciliation with your spouse is to allow God to also work on you. When you reunite with your spouse, positive changes should be visible in you. Please don’t go back the same way you left, go back a better you, filled with the fruits of the spirit. This will enable you to overcome every temptation that may arise.

  1. Self-control: 2 Peter 1:5-7 (NIV)

“For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love”.

Any person without self-control is an undisciplined person. To run a successful marriage, we need self-control and discipline. It takes self-control to overcome certain trials and temptations that come your way. There should be a boundary to what and who you allow in your home. Not everyone is welcomed in your home and certainly not every advice given should be taken. Some marriages have crashed simply because of bad advice from friends, colleagues etc. Set a standard for yourself and your home based on the leading of the Holy Spirit. Learn to use your time wisely and curtail time spent on frivolous things. 

Learn to control your tongue, it is a tiny piece in our body but very destructive if not tamed and put under control.  Many have used their tongues to ruin their homes. Don’t let your emotions control you but the Holy Spirit. Have self-control over your spending habits. You are a helper in every ramifications, including his finances. Try to manage the home front properly to avoid wastage.

Watch what you eat too. Let moderation be the key word. You need to stay healthy and finish well, so don’t let lack of self-control cost you your health and long life. 

These fruits of the spirit should be cultivated during the period of separation and of course at any point in time in the life of a Christian. When you accept the period of separation as a time of trial through which God will work out perfection in you, then the less likely you will feel abandoned and dejected. God is all knowing and He is also the Impossibility Specialist who can turn even the most difficult and unpleasant situation around for our good. Always trust Him. 

Desire

My soul, stay still and listen. 

Whatever you desire in life,

is available in Christ Jesus. 

Rely on Him only for all good things.


Never desire what will destroy you.

It looks attractive, but watch out,

that you do not fall prey to it,

or be controlled by it.


My soul, desire the things of God.

Focus on heavenly investments, 

which yield eternal dividends,

and everlasting rewards. 


I desire peace, love and unity. 

May the world know this peace,

which transcends human understanding. 

We were made for love, spread it.


Lord, You are My Desire.

When will you return in glory?

To take your bride with you.

I am your own, till the day you return.


Creating a conducive home with the help of the Holy Spirit.

For your marriage to thrive, you need a conducive home. A place filled with God’s presence and love. Our homes should be that place of succour where our spouses look forward to returning to after the day’s hassle. 

Naturally we all desire a peaceful and loving home, but hard as we try, we still notice a bit of disharmony. Sometimes, after exacting energy and time to create a warm ambience at home, all you receive is ingratitude. Your spouse seems not to notice all you’ve done or intentionally decides to ignore it. At times, he or she may still find something to criticise despite the commendable job done. All these are targeted at provoking or discouraging you. In the previous chapter we discussed how doing good to your spouse can help you save your marriage. So, if you have decided to apply that step, then be ready to ignore any form of ingratitude from your spouse. Don’t do anything expecting a “thank you” or “well done”, do it because Jesus did it too and he has commanded us to imitate His ways. While Jesus hung on the cross bleeding for sins which He never committed, He was offered vinegar to drink and made mockery of. He was not appreciated for that huge sacrifice done to save humanity. 

We have been called to obey God and choose His ways at all times, though the road be rough and bumpy, we are to hold fast to what we profess as Christians. We are called Christians because we emulate Christ. How many of us are truly living that Christ-like life in our homes? Can we go the extra mile for our spouses? Can we be spat upon without retaliating? Can we bear shame and humiliation that the name of Jesus be glorified? When your spouse speaks unkind and belittling words to you, how do you react? Indeed it is a hard thing to follow Jesus, but His grace is sufficient for those who are willing. 

To create a conducive home, you must die to self. It’s no longer about you, but Christ. Be ready to forgive even when no apology has been tendered. Focus more on pleasing God with your conduct and let God handle the rest for you. Proverbs 16:7 says “When a man’s ways please the LORD, He makes even his enemies to be at peace with him”. No, your spouse is not your enemy but the devil, so if God can make your enemies to be at peace with you, how much more your spouse? God can fix that too. So your primary responsibility is to please God, and do His will. 

We all need the help of the Holy Spirit to succeed in our marriages. He is called our helper because “He will teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you” (John 14: 26). 

The Holy Spirit is also known as the Advocate, to help you make good decisions. He dwells in you and empowers you to do what ordinarily you wouldn’t be able to. 

To further understand how to run your home peacefully, you will need divine wisdom and inspiration and the Holy Spirit is here to help you out in that area too as it’s written in  1 Corinthians 2:10-11 “These are the things God has revealed to us by his Spirit. The Spirit searches all things, even the deep things of God. For who knows a person’s thoughts except for their own spirit within them? In the same way, no one knows the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God”. Do you want to know God’s thoughts towards you, your spouse or your marriage? Then, daily pray for a fresh infilling of the Holy Spirit in your life. He will illuminate your path and grant you divine wisdom and understanding

You never let me walk alone.

You've always been there for me.

You never let me walk alone.

Your promises keep me going.

You are Faithful and True. 


Emmanuel, God is with us.

Ever present, ever loving. 

Your presence makes the difference. 

Your countenance shine bright on us.


From everlasting to everlasting, 

You remain the same, ever faithful and true.

Joy comes in the morning, and 

everything is made new in Christ Jesus. 


I am not ashamed to call you Lord.

You hold the key to life.

Yours I am and yours I want to be.

Keep me in your righteousness. 


You will always be my King.

Ruling over the affairs of my life. 

My life is made beautiful because of you.

You complete me. 

Steps to take to save your marriage.

Our society can be a better place if we take necessary steps to ensure that marriages and homes are built on the right foundations and principles. The society is formed as a result of a man and woman coming together in marriage and this births a family. 

A faulty marriage will birth a faulty family. Children who grow up in turbulent homes are most likely to become a concern to the society. So it’s of paramount importance that we dedicate time and energy to ensure that our marriages are kept intact, safe from vices and destructive influences. 

In this chapter, we will talk about those steps which we can apply to keep our marriages and homes safe.

  1. Prayer: no matter how we try to shy away from this, prayer still remains the number one key to a successful marriage. Keeping your marriage safe requires seriousness in your prayer life. Jesus Christ is the same, yesterday, today and forever. He is our role model. He lived a successful life here on earth and we all know Him as a prayerful person. The Son of God prayed while here on earth, and He prayed real hard. It is no small feat to pray till your sweat drops like blood to the ground, but this is what happened to Jesus in the garden of Gethsemane before his crucifixion. 

Jesus has not called us to pray till our sweat turns into blood, He only asked us to pray without ceasing. Why do we need to pray without ceasing? It’s because the world is full of evil and any true Christian is in constant battle with the enemy, the devil, whether you are aware of it or not. The bible records that the devil is out there to steal, kill and destroy. Marriage is a key component in the society, if we get it wrong there, then the world at large is in trouble. So it’s not  a surprise that most marriages are facing attacks from the pit of hell, this is to ensure godly seeds are not raised who will eventually take over the society for Christ.

So when you face problems in your marriage, your first port of call is your Heavenly Father and you can’t reach Him except through prayers. God is your father, He is not there to condemn you, even if you are the originator of the problem in your marriage.  Rather He is there to help you and give you joy in abundance. Pour out everything to Him and sit still, do not fret. God created the whole world and everything in it, your spouse inclusive. There is nothing God can not do and there is no situation beyond repairs when God is involved. 

  1. Seek godly counsel: God has made available people whom He has gifted the ability to discern and counsel marital issues biblically. You can find them in the church or the secular circle. Don’t just walk through any door in search of counselling. Some are out there to feed you worldly views and solutions to marital problems. That is why you need to pray before you step out to seek counselling. 

It is advisable that both parties attend the counselling sessions, as this will enable them to air their differences, thus granting more illumination into the situation to further help the Counsellor take necessary steps in resolving the problem. 

In some cases, the healing process may even begin on the first day of the counselling sessions, because there is a tendency for each party to air their grievances to the Counsellor more than they would to their spouses. Some spouses have locked up their emotions and have become embittered towards each other due to inability to communicate their hurts to their partners. Some have tried proffering solutions in the past, only to be ignored or shut out. So the counselling session now provides the long awaited opportunity to voice out their pains. It is important for each couple to listen with an unbiased mind to what their partner is saying because they may actually begin to see where they went wrong in the first place. Going there with the mindset of getting a solution to their present problem is key to benefiting from the counselling, rather than attending the sessions just to prove who is right or wrong. That is why you must carry God along in this too. That you are seeking godly counselling doesn’t mean God should take the back seat. Get Him involved right from the beginning. Ask Him to speak to your spouse and prepare him or her,  before you go ahead to invite them for counselling. Also ask God to prepare your mind and that of your spouse and make it a fertile ground where the godly counsel may grow and bear fruits in your lives. 

C. Forgive your spouse: there is no sin in the bible where God has asked not to forgive. Even Jesus forgave the adulterous woman who was caught in the act. Forgiving your spouse is beneficial to you too, beecause it helps you heal faster. 

Dont wait for your spouse to come and apologise before you forgive, because we do not know when God will finish His work on him or her. Simply make up your mind to let go and forgive. See it as a divine instruction from God.  Jesus said we should forgive those who offend us

 70 x 7 times, to me this simply means no matter how many times someone offends you, keep forgiving. There is no limitation to forgiveness. “But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.” (Matthew 6:15 NLT).

The above Bible verse is very clear on God’s stand with regards to forgiveness. Every true believer must understand that there is no room for grudges in our hearts.  Unforgiveness disconnects us from God. It hinders the free flow of God’s Spirit in our lives. Making heaven is sticking to God’s commands, and forgiveness is one of them. As Christians, heaven is our final destination, but we can only be granted access if we learn to forgive one another and adhere to God’s instructions. Don’t wait till the pain is gone before you forgive. Make up your mind to forgive and ask God to give you the grace to do so, then trust God to take care of  the rest.

d. Keep doing good: we are told in the bible to love our enemies, but in this case your spouse isn’t the enemy, rather the devil is. Keep loving your spouse no matter what. Don’t let hate and bitterness entangle you, set your mind free and focus on the word of God. We can not trust our emotions at times like this because it’s bent on satisfying the flesh. We are not called to satisfy our flesh but to obey God and choose His ways at all times, even when we are not comfortable with it. The flesh is constantly at war with the spirit, that’s why we sometimes find it difficult to yield to God’s ways and we know God’s way is always the best. 

Keep doing good to your spouse, even if there is no show of gratitude from him or her. Your Heavenly Father who sees what you do in the secret, will reward you openly. Don’t pay back evil with evil, nothing good will come out of it. Pay back evil with good and leave the rest to God. 

When you are tempted to give up on your good deeds, remember Jesus. He died for us even while we were still sinners. Our sins couldn’t stop Him from doing the good His Father asked him to. Anywhere Jesus went, He kept doing good, nothing in our sinful nature could hinder Jesus from doing what is right. The same should be applicable to all Christians. Keep doing good, no matter the situation you find yourself in. 

 e. Dwell in God’s presence daily: dwelling in God’s presence doesn’t mean staying in church. We all know God dwells within us in the person of the Holy Spirit, working out God’s eternal purpose in our lives.  Daily dwelling in God’s presence implies consciously conceding your right to live the way it pleases you. You wake each day fully aware that you are stepping out to do God’s purpose and not yours. Sitting down daily at His feet to find out what he desires for you to do is practicing how to dwell in God’s presence. Every Christian whether married or not needs to come to this understanding and implement it in their lives. This is the only way we can live a purpose driven life. 

Many couples are experiencing marital problems because, even before marriage they had no idea what it meant to daily dwell in God’s presence. They lived life as it pleased them and accepted whatever or whoever came their way. No conscious effort was made to know God’s will concerning their life partners. Some already had the type or spec of whom they will end up with in marriage, so anything short of that loses its appeal to them. In their decision making, they forgot what Isaiah 55:8 says “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD. 

Now, how will dwelling in God’s presence help you save your marriage? God can do alot in your life, not only in your marriage when you learn how to dwell in His presence. As earlier said, it is a conscious effort on your part to daily practice this by granting God access into every area of your life and allowing Him to take charge and be the decision maker. 

Create out time to spend with God, make it a specific time and try to keep to it. Tell God the time you have chosen and make it a covenant with Him that you will always be there at that particular time. Call it a covenant time. During your covenant time, take a journal with you to write down what God lays in your heart. Also go along with your bible  and a Christian spirit uplifting book, spend a minimum of 30 minutes there with God, you may decide to make it longer. Don’t be in a hurry to leave His presence, allow His glory and presence come upon you. You may not see what is transpiring as you sit there in fellowship with God, but if it pleases the Lord He may choose to reveal this to you at His own time. Keep doing this daily and take note of your dreams too. I love doing mine in the night so I can sleep after and expect the Lord to speak. God is still speaking to us through various ways, and one of it is dreams. 

It’s essential to learn how to hear from God, because He desires to comfort you, lead you and direct you. 

Some solutions to life problems may be revealed to you through dreams, so please ask God to grant you divine revelations. He says Jeremiah 33.3 “Call to Me, and I will answer you, and show you great and mighty things, which you do not know.”

Aside from keeping your covenant time with God, live each day intentionally. Decide to please God in your ways by letting Him lead you. Ask Him questions before you embark on anything. Make Him know that His opinion counts and He is important in your life. Learn to talk to God as the day goes by, because He is right there with you though you can’t see Him with your physical eyes. When you engage God in this manner, you are daily dwelling in His presence. You are living each day for Him and not for yourself, making Him the Head over your life, marriage, career, etc. 

When you dwell in His presence, His nature rubs off on you and you see yourself effortlessly desiring to live a holy life, wanting more of Him and craving for your covenant time to approach so you could crawl back into His arms and be comforted. This is called intimacy with God. You are gradually being infused into Him.

When you become one with God, you no longer desire your will. You now live daily for Him. You emulate Jesus easily and this is when you can effortlessly resolve conflict in your home because it’s no longer important to you who is right, or who is wrong. You are more concerned in bringing Jesus into your marriage to reign. You now live a selfless life, putting others before you. Forgiving your spouse anytime he or she errs is no longer an ordeal because you’ve tasted the Father’s love and come to the realisation that love is the ultimate healing balm. When you love your enemies as the bible instructs us to, you no longer harbour hatred towards them but compassion and love. You are now more concerned about their spiritual welfare and upliftment. You care more for them now and pray often for them. You no longer see them as your enemies but the devil who is working evil through them. 

If you apply this principle of loving your enemies in your dealings with your spouse, you will find it easy to live a peaceful life with them. You will always remember that Jesus loved us even while we were still sinners and He has called us to do same. 

Spiritual Power and Authority (SPA)

Most people love to be in the position of power or authority, so as to enforce their will on others. This is rather sad, and it applies to both Christians and non Christians. 

In this write up, I will be focusing on Christians and how we can live above satanic oppression by exercising our spiritual power and authority. 

In the physical realm, a lot of people are being oppressed either by those in authority or even by their associates. In the spiritual realm, the same is applicable. There is always a tussle for power, to control and to dominate. As Christians, we should realise that we are the bearers of light and truth and the kingdom of darkness will stop at nothing to ensure we don’t shine bright for the world to see and know this light, which is Jesus Christ, neither do they want the world to come to the knowledge of who Jesus really is. We, as Christians are here on earth to occupy and dominate till Christ returns, but how many Christians are truly in charge? 

Today, you find many Christians living in fear and not being able to exercise their spiritual power and authority over the enemy. Some know their rights as believers, but are too lazy to apply the necessary principles to overcome the oppressor. 

As a Christian, what do you understand as Spiritual Power and Authority?. When you become born again, God comes in and dwells within you in the person of the Holy Spirit , that means every born again Christian has God living inside them. The same power that raised Jesus from the dead, actually resides in you. Take a minute and ponder on that. You are actually housing the Almighty within you. Do you fully grasp the meaning and implication of this? No. That’s the problem with most Christians, they don’t get it or they feel it’s just too good to be true. Whatever may be their stand, this is actually the Truth. Your Spiritual Power and Authority lies in the fact that, it’s no longer you who lives but Christ.  When you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Saviour, your old self died and you allowed Jesus to take over your life and live it for you. Jesus is now in charge of your life,  He is the source of your Spiritual Power and Authority. Living without Jesus is a risky lifestyle, so if you’ve not accepted Jesus Christ into your life, please take a moment and say this prayer ; LORD JESUS I ACCEPT YOU AS MY PERSONAL LORD AND SAVIOUR AND I NOW INVITE YOU INTO MY LIFE TO RULE AND DIRECT. PLEASE COME AND TAKE CHARGE OF MY LIFE IN JESUS NAME, AMEN. 

This simple prayer ushers you into the realm of power and you are now ready to live a life of dominion. Christianity is a life of rule and order, therefore be ready to live a disciplined life. Power has been given to you and for you to live a victorious life, you must be ready to obey God’s commands and stick to His path. I will state some of those rules or principles you should adhere to: 

  1. AVOID SIN. Sin kills and destroys. There is nothing good about it. It only offers temporal pleasure in exchange for a lasting damage. If you keep sinning intentionally, it’s impossible to exercise your spiritual power and authority over the enemy. 
  1. ABIDE IN GOD’S PRESENCE. God’s presence makes the difference in your life. The more you spend time with God, the more His glory rubs off on you. Just like Moses who spent time with God in the Mountain, the bible records that, his face shone and the Israelites couldn’t look at it because of it’s brightness. Moses had to put on a veil inorder to speak with the Israelites. 

When You make it a habit to spend quality time with God daily, you are soaking in His glory and His presence goes with you wherever you go making the crooked places straight. Moses said to God, if your presence won’t go with us, then we won’t move an inch. Why? He knew God’s presence made the enemies tremble and flee. Dwelling in God’s presence daily helps you stay in power and live above the enemy. I will give a few tips below on how to spend time with God. 

  1. Choose a time and call it your covenant time with God. It’s a covenant because you will make out time everyday at that particular time to be with God. Night time is preferably, so no one disturbs you. 
  2. During your covenant time, no calls or chats, just focus on God. Praise Him, worship Him and adore Him. This is not the time for making requests. It’s purely a time of intimacy with your Creator. Just let Him know how much you love and appreciate Him. 
  3. Go along with a journal for writing, God may lay some things in your heart while you are there with Him. Read your bible as well and ask the Holy Spirit to teach you all things and lead you into the truth. It’s  ok to also go along with some edifying Christian books to read. If you can make your covenant time an hour, that will be fine. It should be enough to allow you spend quality time with Him, without rushing. 
  4. You can find a more detailed guide on how to have your covenant time with God in my book; How to hear God for yourself

3. DISCOVER GOD’S PURPOSE FOR     YOUR LIFE AND PURSUE IT. 

An idle mind, they say it’s the devil’s workshop. Waking up each day and not knowing what to do with your life, is an open invitation to demonic oppression. God has a purpose for bringing you into this world. Discover that purpose and set about achieving it, of course through the help of the Holy Spirit. Secondly, pursuing just any purpose because you fancy it and not because that’s what God has revealed to you as His plans for your life, is still a disaster in the making. Therefore, seek God passionately until He leads or directs you into that beautiful path He has led out for you.

Once you discover God’s purpose for your life, you become more emboldened to overcome any setbacks or attacks from the pit of hell. 

4. STUDY THE WORD OF GOD. 

Living in ignorance of who you really are in Christ Jesus, gives the oppressor easy access to assault your life whenever and however he deems fit. You should know your right as a Christian, so no one pushes you around. Studying the word of God is key to discovering your true identity and the power that has been bestowed on you. 

You may find it boring to pick up your bible and read, but remember the devil is happy when you don’t, because your ignorance gives him the desired cover to keep wreaking havoc in your life. So next time you feel lazy about studying God’s word, remember what you stand to loose by living a life of ignorance. 

5. LIVE A LIFE OF PRAISE AND WORSHIP.

“GOD inhabits the praises of His people” (Psalm 22:3). When you engage in praise and worship, you usher in God’s presence into your life and your place of abode. Satan cannot stand God’s presence, He will always flee. Many burdens are lifted when we focus on God and worship Him, because He empowers us the more and renews our strength like that of the eagles, 

Isaiah 40:31 – “But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint”.

Praising God in times of trials is a difficult task, but that is when true worship takes place. If you worship God only when life is rosy, then you are yet to experience what true worship is all about. Praise and worship offered to God in times or tribulations exudes sweet fragrance unto God. 

6. HAVE THE MINDSET OF A KING’S SON OR DAUGHTER. 

It’s not easy to bully or oppress the child of a King. They know their rights and usually operate from a level of power and authority. They never desire to come down to the level of mediocrity. 

We Christians are Sons and Daughters of the King of kings and the Lord of lords. When will we adapt this mindset and live it? The bible says that the world is waiting for the manifestations of the Sons of God. It’s about time, Christians change their mindsets and start living the life of spiritual power and authority. It all starts with the mind. If you can believe it, then you can live it. Enough of this bullying and oppression from satanic powers.

In conclusion, I enjoin all Christians to rise up and reject anything hurled at them that does not align with God’s purpose for their lives. Daily exercise your spiritual power and authority and refuse to back down when confronted by demonic powers. Remember, the same power that raised Jesus from the dead, lives in you. 

Your marriage is workable, don’t give up.

Sometimes God permits certain unpleasant things to happen in our lives, to help mold us into who He wants us to be. It is not God's will that you should have a turbulent marriage but if you happen to find yourself in one, believe that what was meant to break you will eventually be used by God to strengthen you. 

God may choose to use that problem in your life to draw you closer to Him. Some Christians dont seek God until there is an issue that requires divine intervention, then will they remember to call on God. This is not how God wants to relate with us. We must always be available for Him. We shouldn't see Him only as our problem fixer, it's quite unfair to treat God that way. When God tries to reach out to you but you seem too busy for Him, then a time will come when you will be the one chasing Him to come to fix your life.


Why must we wait until there is a problem in our lives before we seek God? Isn't that a self centred relationship? If your spouse were to treat you in this same manner, would you feel loved and appreciated? Why not love God with all your being and watch Him work things out for you? Make God your priority, create time for Him, seek His presence and dwell there, learn to communicate with Him, foster the habit of involving Him in all your decision making and learn how to cast your burden on Him. 


I strongly believe that any faulty marriage can be fixed, if you allow God to be at the centre of it. The bible tells us that God hates divorce, therefore whenever there is a challenge, don't contemplate divorce, rather call unto God to intervene. We can not place enough emphasis on the importance of prayer in a believer's life. Prayer is the way to communicate with God and invite Him into issues of our lives. When you commit everything into God's hands, by praying, God will always come through and He is never too late. While you wait on God to work out your marriage, stay calm and keep loving your spouse. Don't stop being nice and caring because you feel your spouse doesn't deserve it, no, the bible says love your enemies. Do not pay back evil for evil, no good can ever come out of that. 



If you are married to an abusive partner, it's advisable to separate for a while and keep interceding for him or her from a safe place. God may choose to use your prayers and bring Him or her to Christ. Some are married to men and women who claim to be born  again Christians, yet the fruits of the spirit are not evident in them. They still beat their spouses, inflict emotional and psychological trauma on them, yell and threaten them at the slightest provocation. Such, are not true Christians, please stay far away from them until God has perfected His work in their lives. Being separated from them, pending when God will work things out, doesn't mean you are divorced. You are still married and must remain faithful to your spouse. This is not the time to cheat on your spouse but rather a time to pray and seek the face of God concerning your home. It is possible for an abusive partner to genuinely repent and become a new person in Christ Jesus. You can not bring that divine change upon your spouse, only God can. Many people believe they can make their spouses a better person by constantly correcting them or pointing out their errors to them, unfortunately this will not help. It will only earn you the tag of a nag. If you purchase a Toyota car and it develops a fault, the best thing to do is take it to a Toyota workshop and get it fixed. If you try to fix that car on your own, you may likely leave it in a worse condition than it was before. Your spouse is the car and God is the workshop, let Him do the fixing. Your job is to report the problem to Him. He created your spouse, therefore He knows every component in him or her.